I'm flailing around in my lack of depression. It's like I was chained and thrown into the ocean, sinking, drowning, and finally, as I've been cut free from the chain of depression, I have no idea how to swim. I have no idea how to breath effectively in water, I've been holding my breath for so long.
Right now, the best part of not feeling depressed is the work I've been getting done on my dissertation. I've been more productive in this last month than I had been in the past 4 months combined. I'm enjoying reading again, movies, my kids. I no longer want to get rid of my 1 snake, 2 dogs, and 3 cats. Yet despite all of this, I'm finding it really difficult to invest myself emotionally into any one thing or person. It leaves me feeling empty, but not a depressed empty. It's more of just a loss of emotional muscle mass from years of atrophying. So I need to exercise my emotions a bit. Build up emotional strength to be able to delve into the lives of those around me. It all sounds great and seems to be a good metaphor, but I have no idea what to do or where to start. What in the world does emotional exercise look like?
Right now, the best part of not feeling depressed is the work I've been getting done on my dissertation. I've been more productive in this last month than I had been in the past 4 months combined. I'm enjoying reading again, movies, my kids. I no longer want to get rid of my 1 snake, 2 dogs, and 3 cats. Yet despite all of this, I'm finding it really difficult to invest myself emotionally into any one thing or person. It leaves me feeling empty, but not a depressed empty. It's more of just a loss of emotional muscle mass from years of atrophying. So I need to exercise my emotions a bit. Build up emotional strength to be able to delve into the lives of those around me. It all sounds great and seems to be a good metaphor, but I have no idea what to do or where to start. What in the world does emotional exercise look like?
