Poetry

I was in a wonderful bookstore today, in a little town in Washington, called Walla Walla.  It's a charming place and this bookstore was magical.  I found a book of poetry by Mary Oliver that I don't have, so I bought it, on an impulse (I know, that's bad, but hey, it's poetry!).  Her work is beautiful.  I would love to spend several weeks with her, following her around, talking about life and nature, being quiet together.  Anyway, I thought I'd share one of her poems that I really liked.  In truth, it's hard to decide which one to share, but I'll start with this one and maybe share others later.

Hurricane-- by Mary Oliver

It didn't behave
like anything you had
ever imagined.  The wind
tore at the trees, the rain
fell for days slant and hard.
The back of the hand 
to everything.  I watched
the trees bow and their leaves fall
and crawl back into the earth.
As though, that was that.
This was one hurricane 
I lived through, the other one
was of a different sort, and 
lasted longer.  Then
I felt my own leaves giving up and
falling.  The back of the hand to
everything.  But listen now to what happened
to the actual trees;
toward the end of that summer they
pushed new leaves from their stubbed limbs.
It was the wrong season, yes,
but they couldn't stop.  They 
looked like telephone poles and didn't
care.  And after the leaves came
blossoms.  For some things, 
there are no wrong seasons.
Which is what I dream of for me.

Isn't that lovely?  I know about the different sort of hurricane.  I've felt the back of the hand to everything. And I believe my leaves are pushing out, on my stubbed limbs.  Maybe the blossoms will follow. 

Honesty Can Hurt

Honesty can hurt.  Is it always the best policy?  I'm not suggesting people should lie.  I'm just wondering if keeping something to yourself is better than being honest, especially when somebody else's feelings are involved.  The problem is that you never know how the other person is going to take what you say.  You can never know for sure whether being honest or keeping quiet is going to be better for you and the other person.  But, too be honest, even though honesty can hurt, I'd much rather people be honest with me and then let me deal with my emotions, rather than thinking I needed protecting.  My parents did that a lot, not tell me things so as not to worry me.  I can understand keeping things from your children if it isn't age appropriate or doesn't really involve them.  But my parents would keep things that I wanted/needed to know from me.  So I tend to do that too. 

This honesty that I'm talking about is the emotional honesty in relationships.  I'm not talking about keeping your opinion to yourself when you know it will only cause contention and the other party won't listen, unless you're supporting their worldview.  I'm also not talking about keeping feelings in when you're with a group of people and you don't feel "safe" with them.  There are times when honesty isn't necessary because it will be wasted.  But with those you're invested in, I do think honesty is the best policy; even though it can hurt.  I've been trying that lately and it's hard.  But I can't let the response of someone else keep me from being honest.  I just don't know the how/when/why honesty should be put out on the table.  I guess that like everything else it's something you learn to do with practice.