In the Moment

Well, I am finding that I can keep the depression at bay if I make myself focus on one thing at a time. This is harder than it sounds, but I'm finding that this seems to be the greatest benefit so far of starting Tae Kwon Do. During Tae Kwon Do I must focus solely on my body and the different activities our teacher is putting us through. And during this time I do not think about depression at all, I'm totally focused. So now I'm trying to do the same thing in other areas of my life: when I'm fixing food for the family, that's all I try and think about; when I'm getting up in the morning I only think about one thing--getting up (okay, 2 things, getting the kids off to school); but the trick for me is not to think about all of the things I need to do during the day or all of the things I want to get done. I think I am easily overwhelmed so I need to consciously focus my thoughts--write my abstract, review for my lab, practice the guitar, practice Tae Kwon Do, get the kids snacks, etc., etc. All of this seems to be helping a bit, but it's very strange and difficult to do. Usually I am thinking of at least 10 things at any given moment, and there tends to be an undercurrent of overwhelming myself emotionally. Maybe this is what is meant, at least in part, about being present or completely "in the moment." That seems to work for children--everything is about the "now" for them and even though their emotions tend to be a bit more raw, it seems like they can enjoy things more easily and get over disappointment much faster. So, this is my new strategy--focusing on what I'm doing at the moment. I'm not sure if this is making me "happy" but it sure as hell beats what I've been feeling over the last year.