So I think I've made the connection between hypo-mania and anxiety. With bi-polar II, often the mania end of things looks and feels like anxiety, but how? I had an experience yesterday that cleared things up for me. I've been having a fairly good week overall. For months I've been feeling dysthymic, but after a good talk with my therapist I'm doing a lot better. Work on my dissertation is actually moving forward (my daily goal is 250 words a day; may not seem like much, but it works for me). Anyway, last night I found myself feeling a bit hypo-manic, but had no place to put the energy, as I haven't had that type of energy for a while. Well, with no place to put the enrgy of hypo-mania, it started churning and churning inside of me. It came out looking like anxiety. I guess its kind of like taking milk, churning it for a while, and getting butter at the end. I'm not sure how great of a metaphor this is, but it works for me. Here's to finding ways to take the hypo-mania and keeping the energy as something positive and something that can make life feel better.
2 comments:
This is interesting. I like the analogy of churning milk for butter. Do you think if you had had a way to use the hypo-manic energy, it would not have ended up feeling like anxiety?
I hope you do find ways to keep the energy as something positive.
I'm feeling more energy since I've started a very low dose of Abilify with my other meds, but my depressive habits seem so entrenched, I don't always know what to do with the energy. Not sure if that makes sense . . . .
Tina, I totally understand having depressive habits entrenched. I worry a lot about that for myself--do I even know how to act without depression? That's part of the reasoning behind the name of this blog: relearniing happiness--I need to relearn how to be happy because my habits associated with depression are a solid part of my life. Anyway, I appreciate your comments.
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