Why do we do things that cause us stress? In particular, why do we repeatedly do things that cause us stress? In my case specifically, each Christmas Garret and I pack up the kids, the gifts, (this year the dogs) and spend 2 weeks in Utah and Idaho. Getting there is crazy--trying to remember to pack everything, a 12 hour drive, often in bad weather and horrible driving conditions, cranky children and parents. . .and staying is tiring as well. I feel obligated to spend time with family, which I like, except the kids want certain things and get bored and with aging grandparents there's a certain stress over making sure the kids aren't too rambuctuous (which ends in spending more time making sure the kids aren't bored rather than really enjoying the company of family). Also, one would think 2 weeks is a long time (it's only one week in Utah and one in Idaho), but with the holiday parties and last minute shopping, along with the need to visit my prof at BYU, there is little time to visit old friends, whom I dearly miss and would love to see. Put all of these things together along with the obligatory holiday stress and my "holiday vacation" ends up causing me all kinds of stress and misery. So why do I put myself through it year after year?
My real desire is to stay home for the holidays. Oh, that sounds so lovely! We were home for Thanksgiving and didn't have friends or family over and we had such a nice break as a family. But the kids really want to see cousins; however, the girls love my mom's because as the only grand-daughters they get all sorts of attention. It took Sam all of 1 hour after being here to say he was bored. Sam loves his cousins in Idaho--3 acres of land, snow machines, 4-wheelers, sledding, 4 boys. . .you get the picture. I love going to Idaho too, because we stay at Darci's. That part of the vacation is very nice for me, but the girls need more attention. I just can't win. So when do I say "enough of this, we're staying home because this is what will be best for me."? Why is it so hard to do what is best for me?
Happy Holidays
1 comment:
I think it is possible to be creative about family reunions and family time. The two i.e. the holiday and the family reunion don't necessarily have to go together. I just depends on if you want to continue with the "traditions" or mix it up a bit. I think it is quite alright for you and Garret to say that this year (i.e. sometime in the future) we are spending Christmas at home and build some memories and traditions with YOUR family. You and G just have to decide what is most important to you and your goals for the family. And Kim, you and your needs have to factor into the decision making process too. The kids can have their cousin time and girlie time another time of the year. You can catch up with family another time as well maybe when the roads are better, you don't have to be shopping for gifts and all the rest of it...
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