Words as Steps on a Path

I am still ruminating about the changes I have undergone in the last 20 years. One thing is that I am not reading as much literature, specifically environmental literature, as I used to. Just tonight I began thumbing through some of my old books and reading all the parts I have underlined. Some old emotions were stirred and I felt the pulse of passion in my veins. I think I need to read more. More essays, more poetry, more philosophy. I think I need to re-read some of those authors that inspired me long ago: Terry Tempest Williams, Wendell Berry, Edward Abbey, Aldo Leopold, Gary Snyder and Annie Dillard. But I am frustrated because I feel like I have so little time--I can barely find time to work on my dissertation, let alone read books from my past. Yet at the same time, it might be one of the things that saves me. Maybe taking time to get reaquainted to some of these mentors will energize me to finish my degree. We'll see.

I'll end with some words from Terry Tempest Williams, in her remarkable essay "Undressing the Bear" found in her book titled "An Unspoken Hunger." She writes: "if we look too closely or feel too deeply, there may be no end to our suffering. But words empower us, move us beyond our suffering, and set us free. This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories."

In my need of emotional healing it is time to reconnect to the stories that once sustained me. I think this will help me find my voice again. And once I have found my voice I can act from the heart again. This feels right to me, like an important step on the journey to relearning happiness.