I thought I'd try writing about what is good in my life:
(sitting and thinking. . .)
This is hard right now, because anything I think of just feels trite, not honest.
Honestly I know I have a lot of good in my life, but the fog of depression keeps me from seeing my life clearly. My life and the people in it lack clarity and focus; so my list of things that are good in my life might include "my children, my husband, my dogs, friends, and medical advances in brain biochemistry." These would all be true, but they are too broad to be powerful enough to change my depression. What I need is concrete moments that I can hold up close enough to my eyes to see them clearly, hold closely, so they don't fade away into the fog.
So, let me write about the few things I can see through the fog:
(sitting and thinking. . .)
This is hard right now, because anything I think of just feels trite, not honest.
Honestly I know I have a lot of good in my life, but the fog of depression keeps me from seeing my life clearly. My life and the people in it lack clarity and focus; so my list of things that are good in my life might include "my children, my husband, my dogs, friends, and medical advances in brain biochemistry." These would all be true, but they are too broad to be powerful enough to change my depression. What I need is concrete moments that I can hold up close enough to my eyes to see them clearly, hold closely, so they don't fade away into the fog.
So, let me write about the few things I can see through the fog:
- My cat warming me at night, on my bed, always sleeping near my right arm.
- Having walked this morning when every part of me wanted to just crawl back in bed--I did it, damn it!
- Really good music that takes me away for the 3-4 minutes of its duration.
- The possibility of a new friend; even the slightest hint of a kindred spirit carries a lot of weight.
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