Boy, this last week has been great. I've gotten a lot of work done on my dissertation and have felt like I'm just walking through air like normal folk, instead of slogging through mud everyday. I've also been reading several blogs that I follow and there are a couple of women who seem to live life on a very different plane. It's as if they're on a higher wavelength, whereas I am going through with mediocracy. I envy them. My life and concerns and thoughts seem so mundane, whereas theirs seem to be more spiritual, which allows them each to experience and radiate an immense sense of hope. I'm not naive enough to think they have no problems, I know they do and they often share their problems on their blogs. But they have a hidden source of "je ne sais pas" that gives them a belief and hope throughout their trials. I'd like to find that. But I'm not going to beat myself up over our differences; I'm happy to be on the road to recovery, I can find greater depth to my life later. So here's to women and friends and bloggers who give me a goal to reach for!
6 comments:
What is Je ne sais pas? I'm just curious. :)
I'm so happy you are going well this week. What a relief. Doesn't it feel good?
I'm busy trying to pull out of a rut myself. Blegh....no fun. But...I'm gonna keep fighting. (It's the stubborn redhead in me). I've been "up" and I will be there again. So can you.
Je ne sais pas is French for "I don't know." I probably should have used "Je ne sais quoi" which means "I don't know what" and often refers to an indefinable quality. That indefinable quality is what I was going for. Thanks for your comments
I think you are one of those with Je ne sais pas! Thanks for being who you are with what you bring to my world. I love it! I love you!
I just found your blog, and I wanted to tell you that you have a beautiful site. Mary Oliver is my favorite poet, and her words are such a comfort to me.
I can understand your struggles with depression and your desire to do everything you can to fight it. Sometimes even the best combination of tools takes a while to fully work. That's how it's been for me.
Thanks everyone for your comments. Tina, I'm glad you like my site, I hope you'll visit often.
I think what you're looking for is J'ai la paix. It's out there and you'll find it. I know because as a "childhood friend" you were the main supplier of that to me.
I never told you this, I don't think, but depression runs in my family too. Several members are on meds and counseling. I've struggled with it too and finally managed to claw my way out. You've always been stronger than me, so I know you can!
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