Natural Art

Natural Art
Sandstone rock wall in Petra, Jordan

Friday, January 13, 2012

"Yes I Can"

I think the meds are finally working.  During these last few days I've felt as close to "normal" as I ever have during the last 2 years.  It's really refreshing.  I'm still trying to keep up on all the other things (vitamins, therapy, etc), especially exercise.  It's hard, but I know I need to do it; so on I shuffle (i.e. jog).  It feels like there's been a weight lifted from my mind and chest.  But despite all of this, I find some of my thoughts staying on the depressed track.  I just need to cognitively stop those depressed lines of thinking and get my thoughts on a different track; the "yes I can" track (to modify a phrase from the Obama campaign).

One key thing that has changed is my desire to work on my dissertation is back.  I've actually spent a couple of days working on it! Unfortunately, I have a hard time keeping up a positive attitude about the dissertation and my ability to finish.  In my gut I know I want to finish, I know I can do it.  In my head I question my abilities and constantly belittle my efforts.  So I want to live from my gut (sounds funny, maybe "heart" is a better body part!).  I also feel less overwhelmed with housework, although I think it will always overwhelm me to some extent, I hate housework!  But it's good to not have a large initial inertia to overcome just to do the laundry or vacuum.

So, let's hope this lasts.  It feels like I'm feeling better at a deeper level than I have in the past.  Happiness is finally finding a good combination of medicines.

3 comments:

darci said...

Yes you can!!!! (Your response is Thankyou I know!)

Melanie said...

YEAY! That's awesome!

Keep it up...and just take one day at a time.

Julie Daines said...

Ok. Here's another one. Remember when Laura went out of town and we house-sat for her? And the water pressure in the bathroom was so hard that we had to cover the shower head (which I think was actually missing a part or something weird) with a sock to keep from getting bruises?

I think about that all the time!

Glad you're feeling better.