I am still feeling relieved from my depression. It's almost been two weeks. That's the longest time I've felt good in the last 4 years. I've been trying to figure out what has helped me--the new medication I'm on? The exercise? The breakthroughs I've had in therapy?
The weather has turned bitterly cold and it's making jogging hard. But I'm afraid to stop jogging because I feel like if I do, maybe the depression will creep back. I've got to figure out a way to jog in really cold weather. I know people do it, I just haven't found the right combination of layers yet. Exercising indoors isn't much of an option because jogging outside serves the dual purpose of getting me out and getting the dogs out.
It's strange to be feeling good. I do feel a little guilty about it though, which is strange, I know. I feel guilty towards others I know that are still feeling depressed. I'm not sure why I'm doing better and they're not. I don't have any magic bullet. All that I can seem to say is keep going. Eventually, even if it's 4 years later, it will get better. I'm also a bit afraid--I'm worried about how long this will last. I'm not counting on it staying around for any length of time. I'm just taking it day by day. When I get tired I sometimes get scared that the depression is coming back, but I think it's just basic tiredness, not the weariness that comes from depression.
Anyway, I'm really hopeful. It's a good place to be.
The weather has turned bitterly cold and it's making jogging hard. But I'm afraid to stop jogging because I feel like if I do, maybe the depression will creep back. I've got to figure out a way to jog in really cold weather. I know people do it, I just haven't found the right combination of layers yet. Exercising indoors isn't much of an option because jogging outside serves the dual purpose of getting me out and getting the dogs out.
It's strange to be feeling good. I do feel a little guilty about it though, which is strange, I know. I feel guilty towards others I know that are still feeling depressed. I'm not sure why I'm doing better and they're not. I don't have any magic bullet. All that I can seem to say is keep going. Eventually, even if it's 4 years later, it will get better. I'm also a bit afraid--I'm worried about how long this will last. I'm not counting on it staying around for any length of time. I'm just taking it day by day. When I get tired I sometimes get scared that the depression is coming back, but I think it's just basic tiredness, not the weariness that comes from depression.
Anyway, I'm really hopeful. It's a good place to be.
2 comments:
As one of those that is severely depressed I want you to rejoice in feeling good. Please do that for me.
We can do this.
I agree with Birdie. Rejoice, enjoy this. You deserve it.
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