Happiness is . . .

Well, I had a day this week, where I didn't feel anxious or depressed. I was able to run an errand to the grocery store without feeling overwhelmed, irritable, or bogged down at all. I just went to the store. I was friendly to people, I got the items I needed, and it was all really easy. I wonder if that is how happy people feel most of the time. So this all has got me to thinking about what happiness is to me. Here's my thoughts on it:

Happiness is . . .
-Being able to go to the store without any emotional or physical effort.
-Being able to get out of bed without any feelings of dread or dislike.
-Spontaneous moments of fun with my children (where I am spontaneous about having fun).
-Going through the day without long moments of sitting and staring out into space.
-Not feeling anxious.
-Not worrying about whether other people like me or not.
-Effortlessly making transitions throughout the day.
-Not feeling bogged down.
-Self-confidence.

Now the tricky part is figuring out how to duplicate these feeling (or lack thereof) and make that a normal part of my life. I wonder if "normal" (i.e. not depressed) people go through life like that most of the time. I envy them if they do. Depression sucks. I have been diagnosed with dysthymia. It is a chronically low level of depression where my "up" times are more in line with most people's "normal" and my "normal" times are in line with most people's "low" times. That means my "low" times are usually a major depression. Which leaves me to wonder when do I ever get to experience the normal "high" of life? Dysthymia sucks even worse than depression, because there's not a time constraint on feeling down. You generally feel down.

Writing about all of this is dysthymia is not working. . .I was doing better with the task of figuring out what happiness is. I guess for me, happiness is the average person's normal.