Where does courage come from? What does it look like? Is living with depression an act of courage or cowardice? I can see how it may be both. Maybe it is cowardice if depression is a refusal of happiness, which it sometimes seems like. Maybe it's cowardice when one is too afraid to live a life of happiness; when all you know is depression, the unknown possibility of happiness can be a frightening place. Maybe depression is cowardice because one can hide behind depression and be excused from more meaningful relationships and be excused from having the energy and vitality that non-depressed people have. Maybe depression is just an easier, more cowardly excuse. And maybe there is cowardice in choosing to continue living a life in a depressed state rather than choosing death, because death is an unknown.
But maybe, depression is an act of courage, because you wake up every day and take care of the children, the animals, the spouse, when really all you want to do is hide in bed. Maybe it is courage to chose to try to interact with people, try to be engaged in a conversation, when really all you want to do is be alone, in the darkness of your thoughts. And maybe depression is a harder, more courageous act because you admit that life is not always as good as it seems, and yet still you go on. Maybe choosing life with depression instead of death is an act of courage, because life with depression is the known, and sometimes the known is more frightening than the unknown. Maybe living with depression is an act of courage because you keep hoping that one day you will find happiness; maybe courage is the ability to hope.
But maybe, depression is an act of courage, because you wake up every day and take care of the children, the animals, the spouse, when really all you want to do is hide in bed. Maybe it is courage to chose to try to interact with people, try to be engaged in a conversation, when really all you want to do is be alone, in the darkness of your thoughts. And maybe depression is a harder, more courageous act because you admit that life is not always as good as it seems, and yet still you go on. Maybe choosing life with depression instead of death is an act of courage, because life with depression is the known, and sometimes the known is more frightening than the unknown. Maybe living with depression is an act of courage because you keep hoping that one day you will find happiness; maybe courage is the ability to hope.
1 comment:
Possibly it is a combination of both. Sometimes we look at life in absolutes. It is either courage or cowardice, not part is very courageous and part is very cowardice. At times (Maybe most)surviving depression takes every ounce of courage that one has. Other times depression can be fear of what is in our lives and wishing it different and an excuse to not live it. Think of the courage being built on a daily basis from depression! As soon as we learn to accept whati is in our lives, this built up courage should take us far! What is it called when things are so ...both....ironic??? You have a word for it I know I just can't think of it. But sometimes I love the opposition in one thing: courage/cowardice love/hate love/fear strength/weekness obedience/independence Balance. Maybe it is all about balance.
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